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Tim’s musical career did not begin in the hallowed halls of a venerated Musical Academy, but in the less auspicious surroundings of his own bathroom. Serenading the Shower head, accompanied only be the gargling sound of the water escaping from the sinkhole, Tim lathered up and washed down to all the classics. Neighbours were quick to encourage these early musical outbursts, hammering on the walls and firing what seemed like envious looks in the hallways, Tim began the thankless search for a group of musicians to compliment his abilities. Fortunately for posterity, Tim happened upon Cushy Number who were in mid flux having been retired of their original vocalist, and was snapped up and duly referred to in internal memos and secret documents as “The Natural”, for it was obvious to all who heard, that Tim had what it takes from within, and needed little or no instruction from without.

The Atomic clock at the UK’s National Physical Lab is well known to be the golden source of Worldwide time, allowing all nations to set their clocks perfectly - less well known is that this Atomic clock is kept in time by Cushy Number’s very own atomic time-piece, Martin. The epitome of Swiss precision, mixed with the rebellious undertone of independence, Martin is in the middle of the Cushy Number rhythm section, marshalling the wayward band members to the core beat, only to peer through the musical gaps with timely fills and ornamentation to add perfection where mayhem might otherwise reign.

Of all the ancient Scottish Clans, the Campbells were renowned for their fighting spirit and fearsome battle cry “Cruachan” referring to the mountain that towers over their native homeland. The Campbell name was however tarnished after their betrayal of the McGregors, causing a split in the clan with their most noble yearning to distance themselves from this treachery and settling as far afield as Australia. Sartorially distinct from their forefathers these nobles pushed aside the Kilts worn down through the centuries preferring the denim shorts and faded T Shirts of their new Antipodean kin, and even abandoning the Bagpipes as their instrument of choice (a decision welcomed by anyone who has found themselves uncomfortably close to such an abominable piece of musical torture). And so it has come to pass that Doug Campbell has been appointed to the position of Cushy Number - Bass Guitar Holder, following the usual in depth report compiled by the New Member Committee with only one question left unanswered - what does Doug wear under those shorts? Does he still favour the no underwear rule passed down through the centuries…? This may serve as a warning to any potential audience members who risk a visit to subsequent Cushy gigs, as they may yet hear that battle cry and be confronted with a sight no man nor beast should ever see, that lurks under those faded denims.

Faced with the stark parental directive to learn either piano or violin, the young Philip rejected both reasoning that neither was available with a "whammy bar". Final agreement was reached when a cheap guitar was found poking out of a nearby skip, and tuneful learning began. All was well until the discovery that an amplifier could be attached, and a mistaken assumption that neighbour protestations were actually a form of praise, the redoubtable Cush mastered the "art" of controlled and pitiless feedback. Kept in check by Merkert, these forays into extended feedback based guitar solos are now mercifully short. A frustrated and risible vocalist on his own, the blend with Eric, Olaf and Tim's singing talents forms the basis of the Cushy Number "Barbour Shop" sound, enjoyed by some audiences and heralded by any stray dogs within earshot.

Ancient legend tells of a long forgotten, but well remembered Clan roaming the lesser known forests and trails of Germany in harmony with the land but fiercely resilient to others, wielding their fabled Axes with devastating precision. The weapon of choice, but also the foundation of their very being, the Merkert Axe was employed in warfare, but also in peacetime - even used for beard trimming and hair cutting, until this practice was actively discouraged following a spate of accidental beheading and other life changing injuries... These traditions may have somehow, genetically remained dormant and unused, until Olaf picked up the guitar at a formative age, whereupon these ancient aptitudes drew for within, presenting themselves with a millimetric precision on the instrument, but would also account for unusual hop like movements apparent to all when Olaf lunges and thrusts his way through the Cushy Number song list. Once seen, never forgotten, Olaf is the Yin to the Yang of fellow cushy number guitar strummer, Phil...

Now acting in an advisor capacity, Eric provides consulting services to Cushy Number and retains his privileges with regard to Cushy Number's Music Propulsion Facility and other locations... and his membership of all Cushy Number main committees where he will continue to Chair more than one of the essential sub committees. His expulsion from the Facial Hair Research Laboratory has been upheld after a recent Review Board meeting descended into an unsightly brawl. In extremis, Eric may play again with Cushy Number although ample notice will be given for those who wish to stay away from such an emotional event, as the thunder fingered Cushy "original" takes a welcome return to the lower frequencies and the vocal trio rides again.

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